I’m stuck between fighting for a friendship or just leaving it be. People around me see this friendship is causing more harm at the moment than it is good. But for some reason I keep fighting for it.
Have you ever felt like you have tried so hard to show your support, show that you care, and show that you love someone, but they don’t see it?
It’s frustrating. We get into more fights, or just don’t speak to each other. Then I miss them. Sometimes it’s just I see something that reminds me of them, or a story I wish to tell them, or that I just want to hang out.
I don’t think it’s my choice anymore if this friendship lasts or not. I think I have tried all I can, but I’m just coming up short every time.
So does this mean it’s over? Someone who had been a part of some serious and some great memories is now going to be nothing? That hurts to think. I wish it was easy enough to just let go, but it’s not.
That’s why I’m stuck. Someone who had such an impact on my life is now causing me to constantly feel alone, judged, and depressed.
I’m hoping this is just a feeling. I’m hoping it will pass. I’m hope tomorrow we can go back to best friends.
But I also think not. I think it will end. I know it will hurt. But in the end I will feel happier.
So maybe it is over or maybe I will try again.
But for right now, I’m stuck.